Eulogy for Charlene (last service) – 18 May 2013

This is the second eulogy for Charlene's last service on 18 May 2013. We have a little more time to prepare so I (Dez) was able to draw up a better outline.
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Eulogy for Charlene – 18 May 2013

Thank you all for attending.

Charlene passed away on 14 May 13, 2333. Charlene was in ICU for about twenty over days.  Towards the end of her life, the doctors have already prepared us for the inevitability.

Towards the end of Charlene’s life, one question keeps recurring in my mind. What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of life for a three and a half year old girl? This is an important question to me because the answer to this question will determine Charlene’s worth in this earthly world.

Some people say that life is about leading a happy life and enjoyment - enjoying life’s pleasures and comforts. Charlene did enjoy her life. She enjoyed music. She enjoyed people calling her pretty girl. She enjoyed Daddy and Mummy’s carrying and hugging. But her moment of happiness can be so fleeting. There are a lot of moments where Charlene suffered a lot. And if the meaning of life is about enjoyment then some people may say Charlene’s life is meaningless.

Some people say that the meaning of life is about what you have achieved in life – your achievements, your accomplishments, the projects you have completed. Charlene, with a little frail body, had achieved a lot.  Charlene has done a lot of therapy, both at home and in school. She was able to hold her head up by herself. For a child of her condition, it is an accomplishment. Daddy and Mummy are very proud of her achievements. But I know that based on our societal standards, her accomplishments meant nothing.

Some people say that the meaning of life is about the people that you meet. I remember a saying that goes that at the end of an individual’s life, you no longer care about your achievements, your work but care about your family and friends. In Charlene’s three and a half years life, she has met a lot of people. Charlene and Daddy and Mummy have met a lot of people: brothers and sisters in Christ. We have met people in the hospital, we have met doctors and nurses who really care for her.  We also have a lot of friends who come down to visit her regularly. I know that Charlene is very blessed to have met all these people. And I am very grateful for all your presence here today. But again, through societal’s standards, Charlene who cannot talk and express herself and never really know the people she has met... So is Charlene's life meaningful by this standard? I am really not sure.

As a Christian, I would say that the meaning of life should be seen through heaven’s eyes, through God’s eyes.  Charlene only has three and a half years of life. To give an analogy, Charlene may be like  a single strand of thread in a tapestry, a single jigsaw piece in a huge puzzle. There are times when Mummy and I wondered whether Charlene's life is meaningful, because we were only looking at Charlene herself in isolation. But I realized that if I were looking at Charlene through God’s eyes, God has worked miracles through her.

There is a saying that goes that one of the life’s greatest miracles is the linking of hearts even though we are separated by physical body. And I know that Charlene has united a lot of people.  She indeed has touched a lot of people’s hearts and it’s amazing how she has done that even though she can’t talk and only smile occasionally. God’s spirit must have been strong in her to create such miracles in life.

During Charlene’s hospitalization, a lot of people have prayed for her.  I know I cannot name everyone but I would like to thank our brothers and sisters in Christ, people in YMM, SJSM. Mummy and I also like to thank the prayers given by the special needs support group that we have met. We also like to thank the rainbow teachers who really cared for Charlene.  And of course we like to thank our friends and family members for supporting us in these three and a half years.

In the last seven hours of Charlene’s life, Daddy and Mummy were carrying her. We rotate among ourselves and we know that she is happy. And we *know* and we *feel* that God’s spirit was with us in the ICU. When I was carrying Charlene and her favourite music was playing in the background, I felt a sense of peace and serenity. I just felt that I am at home carrying Charlene. Until Charlene’s last breath, she was radiant, she has colors in her cheeks until that moment, that *instantaneous* moment where her color changed yellow... we knew that God has bring her up to heaven. 

As written in 2 Timothy 4:7, the verse says, and I will say that it applies to Charlene. Charlene has fought a good fight, she has finished the race, she has kept the faith. 

As Charlene’s Daddy and Mummy, we will remember the meaning of *her* life. And we will continue to do God’s work, to glorify Him through whatever paths he has set for us. And we will remember three words; faith, hope and love. Faith in God’s sovereignty and power. Hope for our family’s reunion in heaven where Charlene will be made whole again. And Love, not just love for Charlene but love for everyone who has gone through difficult times and most importantly God’s unconditional love for us all. 

We love Charlene. God has passed the stewardship to us on 27 Oct 2009 and we have passed Charlene’s stewardship back to our heavenly Father on 14 May 2013. We thank God for all that He has given to us. 
May God also bless you greatly in your life.  Thank you. 

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I will end this post with this song... which I google on the evening of the last service, before I gave the eulogy speech. When mummy and I read the lyrics, we teared... because we know that we found the response (not answer, as only God knows the answer) to my question "What's is the meaning of life?"

You can never see through the eyes of man.
You must look at your life.... through heaven's eyes.

Through Heaven's Eyes 
(by Brian Stokes Mitchell in the Disney movie Prince of Egypt)

A single thread in a tapestry 
Though its color brightly shine 
Can never see its purpose 
In the pattern of the grand design 

And the stone that sits on the very top 
Of the mountain's mighty face 
Does it think it's more important 
Than the stones that form the base? 

So how can you see what your life is worth 
Or where your value lies? 
You can never see through the eyes of man 
You must look at your life 

Look at your life through heaven's eyes 
Lai-la-lai... 

A lake of gold in the desert sand 
Is less than a cool fresh spring 
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy 
Is greater than the richest king 
If a man lose ev'rything he owns 
Has he truly lost his worth? 
Or is it the beginning 
Of a new and brighter birth? 

So how do you measure the worth of a man 
In wealth or strength or size? 
In how much he gained or how much he gave? 
The answer will come 
The answer will come to him who tries 
To look at his life through heaven's eyes 

And that's why we share all we have with you 
Though there's little to be found 
When all you've got is nothing 
There's a lot to go around 

No life can escape being blown about 
By the winds of change and chance 
And though you never know all the steps 
You must learn to join the dance 
You must learn to join the dance 
Lai-la-lai... 

So how do you judge what a man is worth 
By what he builds or buys? 
You can never see with your eyes on earth 
Look through heaven's eyes 
Look at your life 
Look at your life 
Look at your life through heaven's eyes