Five loaves and two fishes (Dez)

Me and my wife separately read the same passage of the Upper Room on the same day. Coincidentally, the article was written by a Singaporean.

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From the Upper Room, 10 Oct entry, written by Julie Sim

"We come as we are, sometimes lost, sometimes discouraged, and sometimes discouraged, and sometimes having little faith. But as long as we are willing to give all that we have, God will do the rest. As long as we are willing to surrender them completely, God will multiply what faith and talents we have to equip us with more than we need to bless those around us."

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The upper room message reminded me of the song by Corrine May titled 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

The song  described the event which Jesus fed 5 thousands with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. The 5 loaves and 2 fishes were given by a little boy, and Jesus used what little that was given to perform a miracle.

One of the stanza goes:

I often think about that boy, when I'm feeling small.

And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all.

But every single tear I cried is a diamond in His hand,

And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer.

So I'll give you every breadth that I have,

Oh God, You can work miracles,

All that you need is my "Amen"

You can read the full lyrics here.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/corrinne+may/five+loaves+and+two+fishes_20758906.html

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We think God is telling us that we shouldn't worry about how much we have to give, because He will multiply whatever we have, to bless others greatly.

Indeed, we often worried whether we are doing God's work enough. Our cell leader told us that the root word of "serving" God was actually referring to "walking along side God". If our walk with Him is good enough, we will be serving him willingly and unconsciously.

(EDIT: for the second last paragraph, it ought to read "shouldn't worry". Have changed it.)

Birthday

Today would have been Charlene 4th birthday.

It's funny how we "celebrate" her birthday when she's no longer around... but it feel like the right thing to do. We went to the niche straight after lunch. We didn't know what we would be doing there, so we just bought a balloon so that we can place it beside her photo.

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Balloon was a gift that Charlene received often during 3 of her birthday parties. Big ones, or small ones.... We were never sure whether she can see them, but we often tie the balloon to her bed, so that it wobble around her. We remember the big balloon that Rusyini and Thomas bought for her 2nd birthday party at our church cell.

That birthday party was something that Charlene was really happy about... she was positively smiling and glowing throughout the session. She enjoys being around with people, she would listen to people talk and be very gossipy.

We are glad that we spent the effort and energy to organise the birthday parties for her. It was always difficult to plan the birthday parties, because there are planning considerations. We frequently wonder the purpose of the parties... will Charlene like it? Will she be tired out by the events? Who should we invite? Will we enjoy the events?

Looking back, some of the Charlene's best moments were at those birthday parties... where people gathered specially to celebrate God's gift to us. We thank our friends from our churches, university and Rainbow who took time to come and celebrate the event with us.

Those were precious memories.

We missed her.
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We stood by the niche quietly. Both of us didn't say much, except for the occasional tears. Finally, we prayed in front of the niche. The prayer goes something like this:

"Father, we thank You for giving Charlene to us, so that we were parents to this special girl. We are thankful for the lessons we learned through her, the little joyous moments that we shared with her and the people around her, and even the occasional painful and anxious moments... all these moments define our life with Charlene. Lord, we thank you that she is with you in heaven, and that she's in a happier and better place. We pray that You give us the strength to continue down the path You have set for us, and to give us the wisdom to know what to do with our lives. So that both You and Charlene will be proud of us. Amen."

We went home and have a typical Sunday afternoon. Though we still cry and miss our precious girl, we will continue moving forward by the strength of God.

Called to be the light of the world

Philippians 2: 12-18

As I read this, I found a sermon online titled "Called to be the light of the world"

We have a 4-fold call or responsibility to light.

1. Call to come to the light
2. Receive the light
3. Walk in the light 
4. Reflect the light (which is what Philippians 2:12-18 was telling us to do) 

The sermon also has quotes which I liked.... 

Our lives should be live that reflect something different than what the world has, because quite simply we have something that the world does not have, Jesus. 

The call can be summarized this way: 

If you in the darkness come to the light. If you are saved, make a difference in the darkness. 

Special children are born to special people

A friend sent me a link to this article at Mr Brown's blog and today I saw it in yahoo newsroom. (strangers-at-s-pore-cafe-pay-for-family-child-who-has-autism).

It is heartwarming. Also, in my opinion it does seem that there is an increase in awareness of the special needs community through the collective efforts of many different organisations, schools etc.

Some of the events that I remember are:-

1. Rainbow School's annual carnival last Sat.

2. Coming up this weekend, St John St Mary's church is having the first Awareness Weekend on special needs.

Dates: 19 & 20 Oct
Time: Sat 5pm, Sun 815 & 1115am
For those bringing special needs children, Sat's service is designed to cater to the special needs children.

3. On 15 Nov, there will also be a performance put together by volunteers for the special needs children to enjoy and also for fundraising.

4. And thanks to kind souls, this year Christmas party for the special needs children that I know (in support group) have already been paid for (the location, the food, the presents).

Keep it up Singapore!
Who say we are the least emotional nation in the world?

Journey of Faith (Dez)

This devotional para describes Nathan's stewards' and our journey of faith succintly.

When the problems and pains of life challenge our faith, we pray that God will bring us the relief we desire. And may our faith increases so that we can declare "Even if God doesn't answer the way I would prefer, my faith is in my God." (quoted from Upper Room Oct 3rd)

Stewards of Nathan

Dez and I have arranged to meet up with Nathan's parents. Nathan went to heaven in July; he was only 131 days old.

I have kept in contact with Nathan's mum through whatsapp, praying for them and sending words of support. We know it must be tough for them... we have been through similar situation before (not the same situation, as their Nathan was much younger than Charlene, and the pain that they felt would be very different from us).

We met at 3pm and chatted for about 2 hours. The two families shared our journeys of faith - the hurtful and insensitive words we have heard, the trials we have endured, the lessons we have learnt... it wasn't deliberate sharing, we just talked whatever that came to our mind. But through the snippets of conversation, it was clear that our journeys were similar.

It was obvious that they still missed Nathan. Dez and I still missed Charlene too, and we cried occasionally as we think of her.

Amazingly, Nathan's parents came to the same conclusions as we had. Little children belong to God, and as parents, we are merely stewards of the children for their earthly time. When Nathan and Charlene went back to heaven, they returned back to the Heavenly Father. We did not "lose" them, as we are only stewards on behalf of our Father.

All of us agree that this realisation of truth helps cushion the pain.

We hope to continue to keep in contact with Nathan's stewards... and we will pray that God bless them richly with health, peace and love.