Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Soul Food (Dez)

Today's Straits Times featured an article about a social enterprise, Soul Food Enterprise Pte Ltd.

Soul Food Enterprise is a restaurant set up by the boss Gerald Png, as he wanted his special needs daughter to have a place to work in. He realised that her daughter has an interest in cooking, so he decided to spend $60,000 (if i remember correctly) to set up the restaurant. 

The description from the Facebook page:
"It was set up as a social enterprise to train young people with special needs various cooking methods and techniques to produce high quality soups, sauces and desserts, with that hand-made, artisan taste and feel. 

The specific training we provide is with the intention to then employ them into our food production kitchen. Since we started full operation in March 2010, we have 9 trainees of which 7 have attained the basic food hygiene certification through our one-on-one approach to training and coaching."

In the interview with Straits Times, Gerald revealed that he has to spend a lot of time teaching the special needs youth to learn how to cook. Even a simple action of cutting the carrots took him a long time to teach the special needs youth.



The Facebook link to this restaurant can be found here. A review of the restaurant food can be found here.

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I am very impressed with Gerald's love for his daughter.... I can relate to the worries of parents with special needs kids. Worries about how they can integrate into the society, worries about their independence...

And now only did he set up a restaurant for his daughter, he set it up with a higher purpose, to provide sustainable employment for special needs youth.

I believe that social enterprise is the way to help those special needs youths... but right now, I have no idea what kind of social enterprise I can assist to set up.

So for those readers out there, if you have any good ideas for social enterprise to serve the special needs youths, do let me know. I will be more than eager to listen to ideas.

May God bless Soul Food Enterprise and the youths working there!

(P.S. who wants to visit the restaurant with me and my wife? :D)

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Little Angel - Jovilia

A little baby girl, Jovilia went to heaven on Thurs night/ Fri morning. She's around 10 months old.

Me and Dez went to the funeral service at Singapore Casket today. As we were the first guest, we managed to have a long chat with Jovilia's mother and grandmother.

They showed us a video which they celebrated Jovilia's 10 month old in the hospital ward. Despite under very heavy sedation (6 medications?), we can see Jovilia opened her eyes, and moving her hands and fingers in respond to the family voices.

Jovilia was definitely very happy as the family showered their unconditional love on her.

When I saw the video, I was reminded of this story that Dez read in a book. The story which Dez cried uncontrollably as he was reading it.

We heard from the mother there was a point in which Jovilia oxygen saturation dropped to zero... but she pulled through her parents rubbed her hands and talked to her.

But God has His plans for Jovilia... And He brought her back to heaven.

Why do such things happen to little children? I don't have any answers.

The only response we had is that we know, deep in our mind, heart and soul that God loves us all.

We have experience God's personal grace many times... notably during the cleansing steam retreat and during the final hours of Charlene's earthly lives.

We pray that God give Jovilia's parents strength and comfort during this difficult period of grieving.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Salt and Light (Dez)

Salt

Last Saturday, my wife cooked a pot of 'ABC' soup (potato, carrot and corn).  She was very happy with the outcome because the soup was delicious. She told me excitedly that it's how amazing the soup change for the better, with only a 1/4 teaspoon of salt...

Indeed, we have been so used to using seasonings, that we often forget that salt is the most basic seasoning. Just a pinch of salt, and it can bring out the right flavor in the soup.

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Light

Me and my wife have missed several episode's of The Joy Truck, due to our schedules. We finally managed to catch today's episode of The Joy Truck.

Today's The Joy Truck, the host and the other 'love' ambassadors visited the Singapore Association for the Deaf. They interviewed one teacher and 3 deaf students, finding out more about their lives and aspirations.

As the 3 boy students love music, the Joy Truck decided to bring in a music teacher to teach them to play music. Amazingly, the music teacher, Lily Goh, is deaf herself... but through passion and perseverance, she received formal training in music and obtained a Grade 8 in Percussion with Merit, Grade 5 in Music Theory with Distinction and a Grade 5 in Piano!

Lily Goh also co-founded a social enterprise called EOHorizons, which aims to create job opportunities for the deaf and to spread greater public awareness about the deaf.

During the interview, she said that she hopes that EOHorizons can be a light that shines a path in darkness.

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"You are the salt of the earth... You are the light of the world..." Matthew 5:13-14.

God has called us to be the salt and the light of the world. Even in difficult circumstances, a pinch of salt, and a single ray of light, can change the world around us. Our efforts may seem small, but believe that God will use us mightily for His kingdom.

I believe that this is the case for our special needs kids too. Though they are small and frail, they are *the* salt and light of the world. May God bless them and reach out to others through their strong and little body.

Thank you, our strong-little-beauty... you have changed your daddy and mummy for the better.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Rainbow

We visited Charlene's niche before we went to little Nathan's funeral service.

We bought a bookmark with the name "Charlene - A Women of the Lord", and use blue-tag to keep it in place. This way, it will be easy for people to recognise the niche.

Right now, we have the bookmark (probably more appropriate to call it a name-tag), the wind-mill and the carebear beside the niche.

The carebear was given by my 2 friends during Charlene's wake. The carebear was actually presented as a bouquet of flowers; we left the flowers there after the funeral service. Since the flowers have witted, we had removed the flowers but kept the carebear there.

We found out later that our friends chose the rainbow carebear, because they felt that Charlene was like a beautiful rainbow that braved the storm.

How appropriate that the best memories I had with Charlene was in Rainbow school.

Sometime back, Dez wrote an email letter to Rainbow Centre giving our thanks to the school. The executive director replied to the email:

"We are inspired by your positive acceptance of Charlene's passing and taking time to share your appreciation of my colleagues' care and love for her. We are touched by your advocacy for more support for EIPIC.

We will continue to do our best to make a difference in the lives of those we serve, and we are blessed to have the opportunity to work with you and Charlene. "

We pray that Rainbow school continues to have dedicated teachers to make a difference to the special needs kids. Just like how the rainbow glows after a storm, bringing smiles to those who see it, and making a lasting impact in their hearts.

We thank God that Charlene was our rainbow... though she has left us physically, the memories still brings smiles to our faces.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

131 Days (Dez)

131 days.

How much can you achieve in 131 days?

How much can a little boy achieve in 131 days?

I don't know.

But I know that God can achieve a lot through the little boy in 131 days.

Though we do not understand His plans and His will, we know that "in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him" (Rom 8:28).

May God bless the parents of little angel, Nathan.

He is indeed in a better place.

I wonder whether Charlene will greet him at the gates of heaven.

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Psalm 131
A song of ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, LORD,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.

3 Israel, put your hope in the LORD
    both now and forevermore.

Little Angel - Nathan

Two and a half months ago when Charlene was in NUH, almost everyday I will see Nathan's parents outside PICU having their meals and resting. Their little boy, Nathan was diagnosed with acute liver failure when he was 1 month old.

I had only seen him once. I stood outside his room and looked at him. He was very active and alert, a handsome little boy. 

After Charlene went home to the Lord, I didn't see Nathan nor his parents anymore. I didn't even have his mum's number. Only last week when we went to NUH to visit another child, we bumped into Nathan's parents yet again. His mum told me that doctors did not perform the liver transplant for Nathan as the success rate of the transplant is low and Nathan's immune system was very weak. 

It has barely been a week... Nathan has gone home to the Lord.

In his eulogy, his mum described him as a feisty fighter, a brave little boy. Indeed, all our special needs children are so brave.

While they fight so hard to live, how are the rest of us living our lives? Let this be a reminder to us all to treasure our lives and live our lives meaningfully. 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Cherish your time

I attended a refresher course for my work and heard my colleagues said that they are so not used to getting back to work and leaving their children at childcare.

Looking back, I am really glad that despite objections, I stuck to my decision to stop work and care for Charlene full-time for 3.5 years.

We knew that children with her condition don't typically live long. Precisely because we don't know how short her life would be, we cherish each day that we have with her.

Life is not just about work. Spend time with our loved ones. Treasure them while they are still with us, or while you are still with them.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

失落沙洲 (Dez)

徐佳莹,星光大道第三届的冠军。她在比赛时唱了自创曲"失落沙洲", 得了19分的
高分。

那时Charlene在妈妈的肚子里,正是我们观看星光三的时候。我们就说希望Charlene长大
唱歌能像徐佳莹.

最近我听了失落沙洲时,就回想起徐佳莹说"她坚持要在他的专辑里收入这首歌是因
为曾经有一位孩子患绝症的母亲向她说过这首歌表达出了她的心情。"

我也有那种感受。尤其是这段:

"我不是一定要你回来 只是当又一个人看海
回头才发现你不在 留下我迂回的徘徊
我不是一定要你回来 只是当又把回忆翻开
除了你之外的空白 还有谁能来教我爱"

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(translated)

Lala, is the winner of Taiwan singing competition , third season of "One Million Star". During the competition, she sang this song 失落沙洲 (loosely translated into 'Lost Oasis') and got 19 marks out of 20.

Charlene was in mummy's tummy when we were watching the third season of the show. Both of us hope that when Charlene grew up, she can sing like Lala.

Recently, when I listened to Lost Oasis, I remembered that Lala decided to record this song into her first album, because a mother who lost her child told Lala that the song reflected her emotions.

I have the same feeling too, especially this verse:

"我不是一定要你回来 只是当又一个人看海
回头才发现你不在 留下我迂回的徘徊
我不是一定要你回来 只是当又把回忆翻开
除了你之外的空白 还有谁能来教我爱"

I don't need you to be back; but when I look at the sea alone,
And realise you are no longer here; leaving me with my reminiscence,
I don't need you to be back; but when I recall our memories,
Nothing except for the void you left; Can teach me love again.

Burden

Parents who had special needs children often heard people (relatives, strangers on the streets) tell us that our children with their limitations are "a burden". These people see the kids as a "financial burden" or "disrupting the normalcy of lives" or and "restrict parents from living life to the fullest". 

Really? Are special needs kids a burden?  If we use these people definition of 'burden', a healthy child can also be a 'burden'. 

Healthy children may not be successful in life, and may not provide a 'return-of-investment' to the parents; is the healthy child then a financial burden? Healthy children also requires the parents' time and love for nurturing, and parents often have to give up part of their life (career, personal time, social time); is the healthy child then "disrupting the normalcy of lives" and "restrict parents from living life to the fullest"?

In fact, using that kind of definition, sick and old adults are also 'burdens'.  I don't think I have to elaborate more on the difficulty of taking care of Alzheimer's patients.

What is the yard stick that you use to evaluate people's life? How do you measure the worth of a person?

Your yardstick reveal your heart.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

下一站幸福

I was watching a show下一站幸福 ep20 while ironing clothes. I found this part of the conversation meaningful.

也因为我们经历过这些事情
才然我更明白
要珍惜什么
就算我跟光希
没有经历过这些风雨
也不一定可以永远在一起
没有人可以知道下一秒
到底会发生什么事
所以只有在当下
面对我们最爱的人
做出最好的选择
尽最大的努力

What I have learnt

  • Things happen for a reason. 
  • The trials in our lives make us grow and mature and become stronger than before. 
  • There is no perfect solution to a problem. What is important is we have done our best for our loved ones. 



Saturday, July 6, 2013

Conscience (Dez)

Just after I typed the previous post, I came across this quote in my quiet time. It seems so appropriate to the post which I made so I think of posting it.

Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? 
Expediency asks the question, is it politic? 
Vanity asks the question, is it popular? 
But, conscience asks the question, is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that is right. (Martin Luther King Jr)

How do we know our conscience is right? I think we have to think, reflect, seek humbly opinions from others (even though they may take a different stand from you) and to prepare a response early.

Process and Outcome (Dez)

In our society, we often focus on the outcome than the process. As the saying goes, the end justify the means.

While I don't deny the importance of outcome, I think the process should also be valued.

What do you think about the following scenarios? (let me first state that these are real-life situations that I have heard before... and those were genuine responses I heard from other people about those real-life situations)

1) A kid has been a delinquent all his life. He has rebuffed all help from his family and professional social workers. What should the teacher do?

2) Someone's mother was found to have dementia. The mother would never be able to take care of herself, and her cognition will only deteriorate. What would the person do?

3) A child was borne with a congenital disease, with no cure and treatment. No baby in the world with that disease has lived beyond the age of 6. Essentially that means that 0% survived beyond age of 6. What should the parent do?

4) Someone's spouse was found to have Stage 4 cancer. There is nothing that the doctor can do for the patient. What should the family do?

*I would not presume to know the right answer, as I do not presume to know God's will. So the answers are mine alone*

In all the 4 scenarios, it paints a situation of "no hope" in increasing order of magnitude. If someone believes that the outcome is the most important, then he would direct his effort and energy into something that is more 'productive'. Such people may have the following thoughts:
  • Why should I try to rehabilitate the delinquent when everyone else has failed?
  • Why spend my energy and time to take care of my mother, when she will only get worse with time?
  • Why spend money on therapy and medication and time on a kid who won't grow up to take care of me?
  • Why waste time caring for the spouse who's going to drag me down, when I can just pack my bags and leave?
Indeed, when someone focus entirely on the outcome, they may come to the conclusions "I can't change the outcome anyway... why bother?"

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So why do people decided to take the "more difficult route" of:-
  • Teachers spending additional time and energy to rehabilitate the youth.
  • Sons/daughters changing their career to be able to take care of the mother with dementia.
  • Parents who gave all their money, time and love to a child who has no 'future' (defined by society).
  • Spouses who stay true to their wedding vows, and hold on to their spouses "for better or worse, in sickness and in health".
I feel that they choose the "more difficult route", because they feel that it is the right thing to do. They know that it's going to be challenging, they know that the outcome may never change... but they continue to do the right thing.

The process matters.

And for people who commit to their beliefs, know that the journey may be more important than the destination.
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For us Christians, we know that "in all things, God works for the good of those who loves him..." (Rom 8:28). This is the assurance we have from our God. With that assurance, we have the confidence to do God's will, to do God's work. 

Not because the outcome can be changed by our Lord (as we do not know His will and His plans), but because it is what God wants us to do. 

Focus on the process, and not the outcome. Often times, I heard of Christians getting disappointed when the person they preached to did not respond in a favourable manner. And they failed to realised that they may only be the person that sows seeds, and not the person who is harvesting. 

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For those who believes that the outcome is more important... let me ask you a final question. 

No one can avoid the (physical) death. Since the outcome is inevitable, should we stop living then?