At 7am, Charlene heart rate and oxygen saturation dropped slowly, prompting the nurses to do a suction. During that time, Charlene had another desat and the doctors rushed in to perform another CPR. While we were waiting outside anxiously, a doctor told us that Charlene is experiencing pneumothorax, air leaks in the lungs caused by accumulated pressure due to the high settings of the high frequency oscillatory ventilator. To save Charlene, the doctors had to puncture a hole in her right chest with a tube, to release the air pressure.
When we entered the room to see the inserted tube and the blood stains... we felt a sharp stab of pain in our hearts.
Daddy called Pastor Cynthia to come down immediately.
When Pastor Cynthia arrived at 9am, we went to the empty PICU library and updated her about the 2 events that happened last night and this morning. Daddy questioned why Pastor Cynthia asked us to tell Charlene that it's ok to follow Jesus Christ, when everyone else who visited Charlene seems to be only praying for Charlene's recovery.
Pastor Cynthia explained that she was prompted by God to said that to us. She reminded us about God's plans and God's timing, and that we should submit to God's sovereignty. She asked us about our thoughts and emotions. Dez felt that we should make Charlene as comfortable as possible and not cause her to suffer further as she is really tired.
I was very concerned that I might feel guilty about giving up on Charlene. Pastor asked us to pray and surrender Charlene and the whole situation into God's hands. We prayed and we cried. During my prayer to God, I felt peace in my heart. Genuine peace.
After our prayers (1030+am), the consultant called us (since she didn't know we were in the library) and requested to speak to us. She informed us that Charlene had another desat while we were away. She emphasised that we were "delaying the inevitable", and said that at the rate of Charlene's deterioration, there is a high chance she could just die in the midst of the next CPR. She told us that the hospital can make arrangements to make Charlene as comfortable as possible.
Dez asked the consultant what we can do to make her comfortable. That include stopping all blood taking, suctions and other procedures. The consultant also suggested that we switched Charlene to a normal ventilator, so that we could carry her in our arms.
We agreed.
The consultant told us that the switch should be done after everyone has said goodbyes to Charlene. We requested to wait for Charlene's favourite doctor, Dr Natalie, before the switch. We had informed Dr Natalie immediately after our prayers because we know that Charlene would love to see Dr Natalie. Dr Nat told us that she had make arrangements in her work to come down as early as possible (3pm).
When Dr Natalie arrived, she commented that Charlene has grown into a beautiful young lady. Charlene acknowledged Dr Nat's presence by flickering her eyelids. Dr Nat reassured us that we have done all that we could for Charlene, and Charlene knows how much we love her. Dr Nat prayed for Jesus to guide Charlene to heaven and that we will see Charlene again in heaven; a restored Charlene which God has always seen her. Dr Nat left the ward with a kiss to Charlene's forehead.
At 430pm, Charlene was switched to a normal ventilator. The consultant and nurses transferred Charlene into Daddy's arms. We requested that the curtains be drawn and that we be left alone for family time.
Charlene was obviously happy at being carried; her heart rate fell to a more acceptable range and her oxygen level actually went up! She was comfortable and her stats were holding up well. We sang Charlene's favorite songs and we reassured Charlene not to worry about us. We recounted the happy events that we had shared with Charlene.
We felt so peaceful in the room. Daddy commented that he felt like he was at home, with Charlene's favorite music playing softly in the background. I had taken off my jacket because i wanted to carry Charlene and let her feel my presence. I didn't have to put on my jacket again because the room was warm... never before in Charlene's 3 weeks of ICU had i felt so much warmth in the room.
Dez and I know that God's spirit was with us. We had committed Charlene to God. Both of us knew that God has the power to save Charlene there and then; we will rejoice if that is His plan. Both of us also knew that if God's plan is to take Charlene back to heaven, we will rejoice too because His peace was with us in that room. When we saw that the nitrate oxide crept up from 10 to 30 (a higher number indicating a faster consumption rate), both of us knew that it would cost us a lot of money. But the peace in Christ was so strong, that we didn't worry about the medical bill... cos we know that He will provide for us.
Three hours later, the consultant came in with a perplexed look. She said tactfully that she didn't expect this to happen and that Charlene continues to be a mystery for the medical team. (we found out from Pastor that the consultant had originally predicted Charlene would only survive for 10 - 15 mins after the switch of ventilator).
Me and Dez took turns to carry Charlene, singing to her, talking to her, telling her how much we love her and how much we are blessed by her in our life. We saw her stats slowly, slowly dropping.... her oxygen saturation dropped from 90, 80, 70, 60, 50, 40, 30. We had seen Charlene with an oxygen saturation of 70 and below; her lips always turn bluish and her face will turn pale. Not this time. Her face continues to be pink with a radiant glow, even at an oxygen saturation of 30+. Charlene was also breathing normally with no struggle. She took about 2 breaths every second... no gasping for air.
We had to get the nurse to help change her diaper once. We know that Charlene is a clean girl and she wants to be clean before going back to the Lord.
At 2333, we saw Charlene's face color changing instantaneously from pink to yellow. The change was so abrupt that it was impossible to miss. We know in our hearts that Jesus Christ has brought Charlene to heaven. Jesus Christ was the one sustaining her throughout the 7+ hours of our peaceful family time.
Charlene left so peacefully. We know that she's in a better place.
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